Amidst the beginning of the collapse of the Iron Curtain, lay a man and a woman. Humble circumstances, a place without abundance.

Long ago, even though it feels like yesterday. Some of it at least.

The year was 1983, probably late winter - February perhaps - conceived. 

Born, raised to some effect, migrated almost 30 years later. Landed on the shore of a country, 1000 miles away. 

Seemed like everything would play out well... so it seemed... and so it remained, as a vague phantom - never truly substantiated, always elusive, often out of sight. None of the hopes and dreams had come to pass, but the worst of nightmares.

Sometimes the worst seems to happen, for one only to learn that it was a mere prelude to what is hidden around the corner - the dark alley of life. A blessing in disguise? Maybe. But you have to walk it alone. For the one person you wanted to trust, abandoned you. The penultimate rejection.

A man is worth only what he brings to the table. Provide and protect. In this order... or perish, begone. You are as good as dead to me now.

What can you do? Cannot force anyone to love.

More important question...

What will you do? 

Take your own life? When heart hurts, piercing it appears tempting. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. Or so I keep telling myself.

Life is temporary anyway, but... do you really want to give satisfaction to that person? They broke you, didn't they? Mission accomplished. Finally, had enough courage to amount to something, even if it's the morgue... a "real" man...

Here's the deal: don't! DON'T!!!

- Why? Why try, if all is lost? 

- Not all is lost.

= = =        = = =        = = = 

I had to edit this entry.

Originally, it would go on to express something of a "self empowering" trite and corny sentiment.

The point, however, is that - not all is lost, and here is a handful of proofs:

Proof of Noah - the flood that destroys everything...

Proof of Jericho - the city that no one ever conquered lies in ruin...

Proof of Job - he did in fact lose everything...

Proof of Daniel - sitting in a den among the hungry lions...

Proof of Moses - the parting of the sea...

Proof of Christ - He died. And then He raised from the dead, as He foretold.

For God nothing is impossible: 

Proof of Sarah:

"numquid Deo est quicquam difficile iuxta condictum revertar ad te hoc eodem tempore vita comite et habebit Sarra filium" [Gen 18: 14]

Proof of our Immaculate mother Mary:

"quia non erit inpossibile apud Deum omne verbum" [Lk 1: 37]

Proof of the Universe:

"in principio creavit Deus caelum et terram" [Gen 1:1]

To create something from something requires work. To create something from nothing requires a miracle.

By Christ, by Logos. He is one's best friend. And sometimes He has to take one through the dark valleys of their soul.

"sed et si ambulavero in valle mortis non timebo malum quoniam tu mecum es virga tua et baculus tuus ipsa consolabuntur me" [Ps22:4 - Vulgate]*

Let me share: I was lost and God found me. 

I did nothing, He did everything - I just showed up. Ever watched a football game and exclaimed: "we won!" before? Well allow me to make an observation: you just sat here eating hot dogs and drinking diluted beer. You just showed up - that's me.

He continues to carry me in His arms, even though it seems like I'm abandoned and all alone. 

Heed Don Dolindo, and his novena.

Laudetur Iesus Christus

- L

* be aware of the differences in the numbering of Psalms in Vulgate (Ps22) and in the KJV (Ps23). Catholic translations of Knox and Rhemis-Douay appear to conform to the original numberings, yet the Jerusalem Bible onwards seem to propagate the newer scheme.